When the day is finished … before going to bed … i try to totally disconnect .. from everything.
No matter if the day was good or bad … i know i need to simple … reset myself.
Then i go to sleep.
After 8-9 hours … i wake up … and for few minutes i really don’t realize what is going on.
…. which is great.
It’s like i had a total restart … and i can probably decide … a totally new path for my destiny.
Well … until … suddenly i start to remember details about the recent past.
Then my vibe … starts to be … bad again.
I realize it was …. an illusion that all was fine … and i could decide to follow new paths for my life.
The simple fact that for a short moment …. I was not having clarity about what was going on … allowed me to have new beautiful projections.
But …. the next second i remembered the past … i felt again prisoner of ugly circumstances.
And it happened like that again … and again … and again.
Everyday … for a short moment … i felt the reset of my life … so that in the end to realize that all was just … illusory.
I could not understand … the meaning of all that.
… was all … a nonsense?!
Why i felt i could change my day … and maybe also my life … so that into the end to be disappointed again.
But disappointed …. by whom?!
Maybe … by my disability of feeling for real .. and on long term … that change can happen?!
I meditate … everyday … asking myself about the meaning of day … and night.
… and even if i know all could be a great opportunity …. of resetting everything … i just let myself dominated by my recent past.
I don’t allow myself to disconnect from ... all.
To dream … for real … of a new scenario for my own life.
I could not see … that every new day … has the potential of that energy … of a new beginning.
… i was blind … and even if the Universe was whispering me something … everyday … it was all … useless.
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